How to Potty Train a Stubborn Toddler

1. When should I start thinking about potty training?
   The worst thing you can do when starting on this journey with a stubborn child is begin the process too early. If they aren't ready to start, they will not cooperate. Period. The power struggle will be in play right from the get go and even if you stop and take a break for a month, they'll remember who won this round and will try it again next time. Trust me.
   
   Most children are ready to begin potty training between the age of 2 and slightly after their third birthday, with boys tending to come in later in this time zone. About 50% of boys are trained by age three while 66% of girls are trained by age three. Special needs kids will most likely train later.
   
   Don't try to rush the process by starting when your child is too young. The American Association of Pediatrics reports that kids who begin potty training at 18 months are generally not fully trained until age 4, while kids who begin training at age 2 are generally fully trained by age 3. Many kids will not master bowel movements on the toilet until well into their fourth year.


2. When will I know my child is ready to potty train?
   Your child will show you tell-tale signs that they are ready. Here's what to look for:

• Your child is not ready to potty train if they are resistant or afraid of the toilet, have a bowel movement or urinate right after you've had them sit on the potty, or wet their diaper in less than two hour intervals.

3. How Long Will it Take?
   Expect it to be a good two or three months before your child is completely potty trained. Take a deep breath, put on your patient hat, and be prepared for lots of accidents.

Potty Training Shopping List
potty or training seat step stool underpants training pants pee-pee doll potty training picture books potty training cartoon videos sweat pants and other easy to remove clothing

Stubborn children will sense something is up before you tell them and they will be on their guard. Rather than trying to spring potty training on your child like a sneak attack, involve them in the preparations. Involved kids are more likely to cooperate and less likely to view the whole process as a you-versus-them scenario.

Here are some fun tips to get your little one on your potty training team:

• Have your child help you "train" a doll or stuffed animal. You may want to even consider buying a pee-pee doll with a little toilet so your child can get the whole experience of drinking and then urinating afterwards.


• Go out and have fun buying cool new underwear.


• While still in diapers, have your child begin to help with diapering so that they become more aware of the process. Have them get you a dry diaper, decide where to get changed, pull pants down and up, even help wipe. Talk about what they are doing and begin talking about how soon they will be using the potty.


• Read fun picture books about toilet training.


• When your toddler is still in diapers, don't change them right away so that they can begin to associate a feeling of discomfort with diapers. It will also help them become more involved because they may begin asking you to change their diapers.


• Let them watch you in the bathroom so they know that adults and older siblings use the toilet. Talk about how nice it is to not have to wear diapers. Tell them they will be learning to use the toilet too very soon.


• When you're really ready to get started, fill a basket with about two or three days worth of diapers and say, "These are the last diapers. When these diapers are gone you're going to have to use the potty." This way your child will have a heads up and a very tangible sign that potty training day is coming soon.

Well, potty training day has finally arrived! Hopefully your little strong-willed toddler is still on board! Now's the time to take things easy, don't push too hard, and get out the bleach wipes because you're going to need them.

Follow these simple tips and you should be crossing diapers off your shopping list in no time:

• Pick a week that you can devote full-time to potty training, like spring break or winter holiday. Don't start training during a time of stress, especially at the birth of a sibling where kids naturally regress a bit developmentally anyway. If you can mange it, try potty training during the summer when it will be warmer and more comfortable for your toddler to run about with little to no clothing on.


• When it's time to sit on the potty, don't ask your child if he has to go potty because the answer will usually be no. Just take him to the potty and sit him on it.


• Sit him on the potty until he goes or for a reasonable amount of time (5 minutes).


• After sitting on the potty, set a timer for 30 minutes if he didn't potty, 1 hour if he did. Sit on the potty when the timer goes off (this way the timer is the one saying it's time to sit on the potty, not you).


• Drink lots of fluids.


• Wear underwear and clothes that are easy to get on and off. Many parents potty train their kids with no pants at all just so that they can focus on the potty and not the clothes. If your child is completely naked for potty training (at least on the bottom), accidents will be much more obvious to them. Summer is a great time to potty train because of warmer weather.

• Don't get upset over accidents (because there will be some). Just clean up and continue with the day. You don't want your child to become afraid of failure.


• Praise is very important but make sure you don't overdo it because this can add pressure to the situation too.


• Help him relax on the potty. A good way to do this is to come up with a soothing potty song. We sing, "Pee pee, pee pee, it's time to take a pee pee," nice and slow and to the tune of "A Tisket a Tasket."


• Have a reward ready for successful potties. A big glass jar of M&M's works well because it's colorful and they can see the prize sitting on the shelf waiting for them. A chart with squares and stickers is good too. Don't forget lots of praise and hugs too! Of course, this means that whatever you give as reward in the bathroom has to stay in the bathroom—no M&M's through out the rest of the day!
  
  Give a reward for sitting on the potty even if they don't pee, but give a bigger reward if they do pee. Wean off the rewards after a couple of weeks of successful potties. Begin by "forgetting" the treat until your child reminds you—eventually they'll forget too.


• Continue to wear a diaper to bed for a while or on long outings. Don't worry about night time dryness while you're teaching to use the potty during the day.